Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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