You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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