so that wasnt chicken after all
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I need moral support for this bender
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
