Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
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