if i can run in heels then i can drive
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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