you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Boobs are out for the taking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize