Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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