so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
