If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
