its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
