So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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