He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
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