so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
