Im at strip club and am horny
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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