You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Also, beer. Big fan.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
