How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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