If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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