He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
