Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
i need some magic done to my vagina
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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