my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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