she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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