She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
