Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
