you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Can you bring me the toilet please
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
