Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize