I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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