I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
