just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
