Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
