Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Do you remember whose house we're in?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
