At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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