We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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