No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
