so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
