ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
