She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.