You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart