I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
17 People Reveal The Reasons Behind Their Foot Fetish
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
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