I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.