Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is

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  (586): So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is http://tfl.nu/xff6
  Replies (3) Good night (798) Bad night (1262)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.

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  (651): I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning. http://tfl.nu/un48
  Replies (23) Good night (3346) Bad night (583)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.

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  (773): Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize. http://tfl.nu/bs3u
  Replies (6) Good night (3647) Bad night (727)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.

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  (305): I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner. http://tfl.nu/42gn
  Replies (28) Good night (1818) Bad night (3510)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.

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  (812): i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy. http://tfl.nu/2x1u
  Replies (50) Good night (7151) Bad night (831)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?

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  (250): Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point? http://tfl.nu/14m2
  Replies (9) Good night (2791) Bad night (1373)
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  (481): View more from

  I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW

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  (481): I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW http://tfl.nu/doc5
  Replies (8) Good night (2170) Bad night (621)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?

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  (941): Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night? http://tfl.nu/uq24
  Replies (18) Good night (5386) Bad night (881)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?

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  (973): Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire? http://tfl.nu/uthj
  Replies (3) Good night (964) Bad night (488)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo

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  (860): I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo http://tfl.nu/rks3
  Replies (17) Good night (695) Bad night (1050)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.

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  (832): I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me. http://tfl.nu/6e6y
  Replies (2) Good night (555) Bad night (911)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear

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  (512): He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear http://tfl.nu/jwyg
  Replies (6) Good night (1565) Bad night (482)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?

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  (330): What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old? http://tfl.nu/jxml
  Replies (2) Good night (599) Bad night (260)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first

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  (321): Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first http://tfl.nu/f0be
  Replies (2) Good night (372) Bad night (310)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.

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  (225): A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening. (225): 2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD. http://tfl.nu/o2xa
  Replies (3) Good night (347) Bad night (202)

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