Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  i have a girlfriend

  (847): View more from Illinois

  if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?

  (630): View more from Illinois

  no

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  (630): i have a girlfriend (847): if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend? (630): no http://tfl.nu/0yu4
  Replies (40) Good night (5544) Bad night (1750)
• Favorite

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.

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  (318): Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions. http://tfl.nu/wfb6
  Replies (15) Good night (3559) Bad night (762)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes

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  (316): i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes http://tfl.nu/q5w9
  Replies (25) Good night (5510) Bad night (1643)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.

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  (608): I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter. http://tfl.nu/xqss
  Replies (13) Good night (3578) Bad night (1702)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.

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  (612): You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship. http://tfl.nu/eji2
  Replies (10) Good night (4212) Bad night (951)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.

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  (860): Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am. http://tfl.nu/9zeo
  Replies (6) Good night (1726) Bad night (722)
• Favorite

  (514): View more from Quebec

  We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...

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  (514): We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one... http://tfl.nu/kexj
  Replies (11) Good night (2824) Bad night (775)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house

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  (612): I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house http://tfl.nu/z7wf
  Replies (5) Good night (1679) Bad night (442)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.

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  (480): I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other. http://tfl.nu/zykp
  Replies (12) Good night (1115) Bad night (605)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.

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  (570): Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me. http://tfl.nu/6mb8
  Replies (8) Good night (732) Bad night (793)
• Favorite

  (434): View more from Virginia

  In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.

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  (434): In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult. http://tfl.nu/0of3
  Replies (4) Good night (422) Bad night (1077)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it

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  (774): Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down? (978): I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it http://tfl.nu/io4i
  Replies (6) Good night (1106) Bad night (374)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport

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  (815): Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport http://tfl.nu/ttkn
  Replies (3) Good night (661) Bad night (245)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.

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  (704): I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car. http://tfl.nu/x1gt
  Replies (4) Good night (576) Bad night (226)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.

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  (802): I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises. http://tfl.nu/ux2t
  Replies (1) Good night (688) Bad night (289)

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