I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize