help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
