Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
