if i died would you start the facebook group?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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