So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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