but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
