Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
