i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
