No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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