so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
