i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Panties = found
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
