I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
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Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
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Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.