Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
