Texts From Last Night

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  (765): View more from Indiana

  Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?

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  (765): Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis? http://tfl.nu/def9
  Replies (21) Good night (1172) Bad night (3110)
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  (626): View more from California

  a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms

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  (626): a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms http://tfl.nu/zv9q
  Replies (6) Good night (901) Bad night (3839)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.

  (347): View more from New York

  I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.

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  (917): Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement. (347): I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy. http://tfl.nu/2bcu
  Replies (14) Good night (1229) Bad night (4964)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.

  (540): View more from Virginia

  You guys make me sad

  (703): View more from Virginia

  You misspelled jealous there

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  (703): We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone. (540): You guys make me sad (703): You misspelled jealous there http://tfl.nu/wtst
  Replies (23) Good night (11853) Bad night (1506)
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  (516): View more from New York

  my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now

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  (516): my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now http://tfl.nu/4n6q
  Replies (13) Good night (1428) Bad night (2147)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".

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  (404): Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant". http://tfl.nu/1jgx
  Replies (9) Good night (1410) Bad night (2877)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.

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  (506): Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea. http://tfl.nu/9li0
  Replies (8) Good night (2765) Bad night (1480)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.

  (1-847): View more from Illinois

  that is an amazing summary hahaha

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  (847): I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day. (1-847): that is an amazing summary hahaha http://tfl.nu/zrw7
  Replies (6) Good night (1587) Bad night (1030)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening

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  (321): I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening http://tfl.nu/wlci
  Replies (4) Good night (1332) Bad night (517)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.

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  (712): He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge. http://tfl.nu/wcqn
  Replies (3) Good night (572) Bad night (925)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.

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  (773): my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka. http://tfl.nu/3a5u
  Replies (0) Good night (596) Bad night (567)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.

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  (561): You know I love you. I just don't love your penis. http://tfl.nu/4w11
  Replies (6) Good night (416) Bad night (1186)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..

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  (732): Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say.. http://tfl.nu/7n6y
  Replies (3) Good night (513) Bad night (259)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."

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  (813): So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past." http://tfl.nu/7k27
  Replies (5) Good night (1242) Bad night (426)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho

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  (617): woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho http://tfl.nu/i91s
  Replies (2) Good night (574) Bad night (231)

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