k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
