I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
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