Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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