Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
