But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
