Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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