After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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