its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I think a kid would responsible me up
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
