OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
